


TAP's Christmas Surprise: Not a Crisismas Cult at All

by Aura_Creed, LollingCat, Mercowe



Series: Inky Mystery Fics [4]
Category: Bendy and the Ink Machine, The Inky Mystery Server Family :), bendy and boris in the inky mystery - Fandom, the inky mystery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 23:53:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21977623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aura_Creed/pseuds/Aura_Creed, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LollingCat/pseuds/LollingCat, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mercowe/pseuds/Mercowe
Summary: Welcome to TAP's Surprise Party! A collaborative effort by multiple people to give our favorite (and only) author of Bendy and Boris in The Inky Mystery!Writers (since Ao3 isnt letting me have some as co-creators):LollingCatAura_CreedMetasActReonAshipnerdZaryaCoralCrystalMercoweother Inky Mystery Fam were apart of it-And at the end, ThisAnimatedPhantom!
Series: Inky Mystery Fics [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1850077
Comments: 9
Kudos: 16





	TAP's Christmas Surprise: Not a Crisismas Cult at All

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ThisAnimatedPhantom](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisAnimatedPhantom/gifts).



**Tap's Christmas Surprise: Not a Crisismas Cult At All**

Honorary Mentions : Insert Crisis Here, Mas Crisis Here, The Crisis Before Christmas, The Crisis before the Crisis, The Crisis before Crisis Christmas, The Crisis crisis Crisis Crisismas, Merry Before During and After Crisis, The Crisis before the Crisis before the Crisis during the Crisismas, crisis.exe has stopped working.

-No Crisismas Cults Were Made in the Making of this Story-

\--We swear--

\----Except for Lolling----

Lolling cracked an eye open as she watched every one else scamper around, running from place to place, juggling assortments of items in their hands or tentacles or what-have-you's. The cat herself sat lazing about on a bed that was certainly not her own, waiting for all this silly commotion to die down. After all, she could  already  see  Aura bouncing off the walls with her checklist in hand, waving it about.  It was honestly amusing how ridiculous it was. But then again, when you had  almost twenty  people attempting to set up a surprise Christmas gift, what could you expect but  complete and utter  chaos? (Thankfully,  _ that  _ cat wasn't here— the only cat here was Lolling.)

Said cat nearly jumped out of her pelt when Aura popped up in front of them.

  
“Ok, ok, ok, oookkkay!” Aura jumped up, limbs briefly detaching before reattaching as she started waving her arms around. “Everyone’s almost here. Mars is putting up the garland, Marisa and Fantastic are decorating the tree, Insta and Bunni are in charge of the food— wait, where’s — ” An explosion sounded from the kitchen. Fantastic ran out. She was covered in ashes. She gave a shaky thumbs up. A broken ornament rolled by her feet. They hadn’t even gotten the box to the tree yet.   
  
Aura looked away. “Everything’s fiiinnneeee,” she grit out.

They had an hour left. They were doomed. 

At the front entrance, Asheron the rabbit opened the door and stepped inside the mansion. He adjusted his sweater and gave his sleeves a tug. Boy, it was cold out. He waved to  Aura as she walked past. “Hey, sorry I’m late,” he said as he walked beside  her , following them so he could help with the preparations. “What did I miss so far?”

“The only thing I haven’t seen flying today is bananas, so we can be thankful the pigs are early this year.” Aura gestured towards the main room. “We woke up half past wednesday with a side of not enough bacon. Papers peeling,” she gestured to the wall paper, “no decor,” she gestured to Mars doing their best to hang up the garland they did have, “and, at the rate we’re losing dishware, we might turn into a dish graveyard.” A plate flew out of the kitchen and shattered on the far wall, across from the door. Aura turned her head to look at it. “I’m surprised we haven’t run out of ingredients yet, and we don’t even have the presents set out. Wait, are they even wrapped??” The little cactus started jittering, sounding horrified.

Lolling waved a paw at the cactus and rabbit. "They were, but uhh…They might have been a bit _clawed."_ She flexed her claws out with a half-apologetic, half-amused smile. "Sorry, but one of them looked like a scratching post, and…I tried rewrapping some of them, but, uhm… _No thumbs_. I gave up half-way. That's no biggie, right? Who needs wrapped presents?"  
  
There was a pause before Aura started falling backwards and landed on the floor.

“Wrapped presents are like...half the fun! Of course we need them,” Zarya sighed  from where she stood near Lolling. She looked around the disorderly room, swirling the wine in her hand. “We can’t claim to be the best when it comes to wrapping but perhaps we can see what we can do. It is preferable to...this.”

Rogue walked into the room,  eyeing Zarya eagerly . “Wrapped presents? Is that it? Where are they?”    
  
Aura raised a shaking hand with a key in it and pointed it to the stairs. “Last door in the back.” Rogue nodded, taking the key and dashing off. Aura’s hand fell back down to the floor. 

“I suggest you hurry!” Ash called as Rogue ran off. “I was so late getting here, I half expected TAP to have arrived already! She can’t be too far off now!” 

When Rogue disappeared through the door, Ash lowered his hands and turned back to Aura. “Is anything else still not ready yet? The lights? The banner? I wasn’t joking when I said that I thought TAP could have already been here by now.”

“Pire was supposed to do the lights. I don’t know how that’s going, and I don’t really want to look.” Just hearing about the kitchen was a nightmare enough. ”I think the food is the main issue right now, and we might have to break out the paper plates soon. The banner is sitting folded up on the table.” Aura sat up. “I haven’t had anyone put that up yet but somebody was writing out ‘Merry Christmas’ on it earlier. I think.”

Lolling winced as she mentioned the banner. "Yeah, you miiiight wanna check on that." She recalled the argument Pire, Fantastic, Bunni, and Anon had over what exactly the banner should say…The cat had left when objects started getting thrown and paint had ended up splattered on her green pelt. It had been a hassle to wash out. She had spent so long grooming herself afterwards that she probably had a hairball stuck in her throat. "Last I was there, it wasn't all that pretty."

“Oh heavens, moon, and mars! What did they put on it?” Aura got up, running to the table . Lolling and Ash followed after her while Zarya stayed behind to sip on her wine . A couple needles got stuck in the fabric but she managed to unfold the banner. The paint had at least dried before it had been folded up but the distinct wording on a portion of it caught her eye. She was silent for a moment before she turned around. “...Crisis?”

"Yep." Lolling chuckled softly. "Merry Crisismas! As Pire so eloquently put, 'We're falling into a crisis in the story,  so  we can at least be merry about it.'"

Aura stared at it for a long moment before snorting. She pulled a paint brush out of her eye and crossed it out, writing ‘Christ’ above it in capital letters. “For clarity,” she chuckled. “But they’re not wrong.”

Lolling's whiskers twitched in amusement. "Definitely not." Wiggling her haunches, she leapt onto the table, dabbed her paw into the paint, and then delicately replaced the dot of the 'I' with a pawprint. "There, now it's prettier." She walked backwards to examine her work before realizing a second too late that she had left a trail of paw prints from stepping in the fresh paint. "Oops."

Ash lifted a hand and opened his mouth but shut it with a sigh. “It’s fine. It’s fine. Let’s move on,” he said, his patience holding strong. He turned to the rest of the room. “Guys! Come on! Who’s on decorations? We need this place ready, TAP’ll be here any minute!”

Fantastic walked out of the kitchen with a plate of fresh cookies in hand, pausing as she heard Ash speak. "Wait… I'M ON DECORATIONS!!" She bolted towards the Christmas tree where Inky sat at the base, calmly munching on candy canes a mongst the chaos. Fanta nearly bowled over Shep and  Lily  as she sprinted past.

"You only have cookies, though!" Lolling called out to her.

"THAT'LL HAVE TO DO!" Fanta yelled back.

Lolling sighed, shaking her head as she sat down. She sniffed her paw before gently licking it and running it over her head, uncaring of the paint on it. She glanced at Ash and Aura. "Welp. What do we need done next? The banner still needs to go up, right?" She gestured towards the banner she was sitting on.

Ash walked away from Aura, toward Fanta, who was frantically decorating the Christmas tree with freshly baked cookies. “Fanta—” Ash started to say. 

“Yes?” the fallen angel responded, leaning around the tree so she could see the rabbit. Ash, however, closed his mouth and took a deep breath, his patience thinning. It WOULD have to do… even if the idea of such delicious baked goods being wasted on tree decorations seemed like such a, well, waste. He waved his hand dismissively before he walked away.

“I’m gonna go see what the rest of the kitchen is doing,” he said with a pair of fingers on the bridge of his nose. It wouldn’t be right if the guy who arrived late lectured everyone else about procrastination. With that, he walked out of the room. Fanta shrugged and went back to decorating the tree.  Inky was adding a few of her uneaten candy canes to the food-ornamented tree and Lily, despite having nearly been plowed over by Fanta, was now helping decorate too .

Lolling watched Ash leave for the kitchen and wished him luck in the chaos hidden inside. She eyed Fanta too, hoping her friend wouldn't use  _ all  _ the cookies to decorate the tree. They looked delicious.

The cat lazily plopped down onto the banner, idly doodling a cat of her own on it. She glanced at Aura and waited for the cactus to either combust under the stress or start ordering everyone around. Or both.

Aura was definitely doing both but the former she currently had under wraps as she spoke with Mars. Soon after, they walked over, taking both ends and the middle of the banner in hand —err, tentacle —as they hung it up on the wall. Aura brought over the step stool and Mars got on it.  Their limbs trembled, and the not so heavenly sound of bells ringing filled the air as they pinned the banner up. They  seemed to sweat in discomfort but they still managed to get it up there. 

In their haste to get this over with, Aura and Mars failed to notice Lolling was still stuck on the banner. She clawed at it, hanging on for dear life. Nico,  who was clinging onto Mars’ back, certainly did notice the dangling cat. However zey just giggled, the red paint dabbed onto zim mask actually glowing with glee.

"Wait, guys, wait!" Lolling cried, although her cries fell upon deaf ears—assuming Aura or Mars had ears. The cat glared at Nico as the other two began to go about their day, unaware of the kitty cat they had just left hanging from the rather messy banner. "Don't just giggle! HELP ME!" She continued to desperately yowl, not at all a fan of heights.

Meanwhile Shep, who was trying to clean up some of the wreckage (and failing), and Zarya, who had moved over to the food table, paid her no mind, despite being the closest. Fantastic immediately perked up at Lolling's cries for help. She dropped the plate of cookies that had yet to be stabbed onto the Christmas tree and bolted over to the hanging cat, arms outstretched.

Just then, a scream came from the kitchen as Ash started yelling at the kitchen staff  like he was ‘ a discount PG-rated American Gordon Ramsey .’

“This chicken is burned!” the bunny yelled, his patience nearly snapping. Insta and Bunni both took a step back. “It’s not even seasoned!”

“We’re doing our best,” Bunni said as she checked the oven again. She went back to work on one of the pans. 

Ash ran his hands over his face as he tried to keep calm.

“Ok, what about the hot chocolate?” he asked. “Please tell me someone’s working on that.”

“I’m on it!” Insta responded as she stirred together packets, sugar, creamer, and marshmallows.

“Thank you!” he said, suddenly relating to Bendy from Hell’s Studio. And much like for that Ink Demon, the relief lasted only a moment.

“Where’s the cranberry sauce?!” he then yelled as he dug through one of the cupboards for the missing dressing. 

“There isn’t any,” Witchy called from the other side of the kitchen as she stirred a boiling pot.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE ISN’T—” Ash stopped as he opened a large walk-in cupboard, only to find Anon sleeping on the ground. 

“Ann?” Ash asked as she began to get up.

“What’s all the yelling for?” she asked with a yawn. 

“How long have you been in here for?” Ash asked, her presence calming him slightly but still doing nothing to help his patience.

“Well, I was told to go find a turkey baster but then the floor felt really inviting, and one thing lead to another…”

“HEY!” Ash shouted back into the room. “When did you tell Anon to get a turkey baster?”

“Turkey baster?” Bunni said, peeking around the corner. She was still working the pan. “I thought I told her that I found that thing like half an hour ago.”

“You mean this idiot sandwich has been in here for a half an hour, and no one noticed she was missing?!” Ash shouted back.

He distantly heard someone burst through the doors of the main hall, and what she said next caused more chaos than the rabbit could have imagined.

...   
  


Aura was still in the front room. They’d finally gotten the tree looking semi decent and plates of food were being put on the table when the front door slammed so hard it dented the wall behind it with the shape of the doorknob. 

Everyone in the front room jumped as Mercowe  stood in the doorway, a smile on her face. Her wings were neatly folded behind her. 

“You all have five minutes before she gets here,” she said pleasantly. 

There was a pause in the air, like the calm before the storm. Then the winds whooshed by and everybody was scrambling and shouting at each other to finish up what they could.

Lily watched all the commotion going on, shrugged, and took out her phone. Inky placed one more candy cane on the tree before sitting down and eating the last. Fantastic was doing a shuffle, going back and forth as Lolling swayed from the banner. Pire had come back inside but was tangled in a mess of Christmas lights.  Mercowe had moved to a corner and settled down to edit this short.  Out of everyone, she was probably the calmest.

Aura was going around like a bumper car through a minefield, waving her hands as she dodged and ducked and ran around. “HURRY-UP-HURRY-UP-HURRY UP—” She peeked her head into the kitchen and yelled. “HURRY UUUUPP!” She dashed out, seeing everyone around. She paused, looking at the tree. She took two candy canes off and started waving them around. “POSITIONS, POSITIONS. NOW!” Nobody was really listening. They were all last minute rushing around to finish their errands, and Aura could feel the sweat dripping down her face as the minutes ticked. They weren’t ready yet! They weren’t ready yet—!

Mars quickly slipped to the outskirts of the group, both them and Nico getting a bit too overwhelmed with the frantic crowd. Mars pulled a bottle of Mountain Dew from seemingly nowhere and glanced at the reversed label in slight bafflement before shrugging. Taking things out of alternate universes wasn’t an exact science, after all.

Zarya leaned against the  suppose-to-be food table, stretching her arm out as though to give a toast. “Well, despite the mess, the crisis party must go on!”

The uplifting statement was crushed as a series of loud crashes sounded from the kitchen as the staff burst through the doors. Witchy and Anon were coughing past the steam, Insta was giggling, and Bunni must have given up at some point because she walked out with a slice of cake. That just left…

Ash blankly walked out of the steam, no emotion on his face. He gently turned around and shut the kitchen doors. The chaos of the room had doubled in the time he had walked out, how ever that was possible. He walked forward, getting only a little into the crowd before he took action. His patience was gone. He needed to bring back order. And he knew only one way.

With no hesitation, but no rush either, he reached behind his back and pulled out his pistol, aiming it toward the ceiling. 

**_BANG_ **

Some people froze, some people jumped. Marisa and Anon both took out swords, looking like they were ready to fight something. Shep flew  around the room, a trail of sparkles trickling down. Insta looked up, a cookie already in her mouth as her eyes caught sight of a familiar toon at the door. Tap was there.

Specs flew in behind her and wheezed. “She remembered she could phase through doors, I tried…”

Rogue came in with a big gift in her arms, "Alright, all the presents are wrapped up!" She paused and looked around the room "Uh… did I miss something?" 

There was a click and a flash. Witchy looked down at the camera in her hands, standing near the door with a grin. “Your faces are priceless.”  A bit of dust and a couple tiny bits of the ceiling fell down from where the bullet had gone through it.

Tap looked around. At the decorations, at the banner, and at everyone assembled. Everyone was frozen. In what was only a couple of moments , but what felt like an eternity, Tap finally spoke,  “Well, I never saw this coming. You all took the time to throw a party?” The ghost sniffled. “That’s really thoughtful.” Tap glanced at the banner. “Even if it is a little ‘Crisismas’.” Tap chuckled.

**Author's Note:**

> 


End file.
